Today in the mail my family received a personalized handwritten holiday letter including pictures from my mom’s cousins in Ohio. I dug deeper into the envelope to find the poem they wrote every year, each stanza written by a different child. After reading the letter I began to question the impersonality of my own holiday card, which we had ordered online using a generic background and the already chosen message, “We wish you happy holidays and all the best in 2011”. In three days the cards were on our doorstep and we printed out the address stickers that we had used for the last three years. What is the purpose of such a card? Holiday cards are meant to help people keep in touch and reunite, but they seem to do the opposite—give us an excuse NOT to call, meet or write a personal letter to friends and family. I wondered when we, as a society, stopped taking the time to write a personalized message around the holidays—except for my cousins in Ohio. So again this year I wait anxiously for the rare holiday cards that still have meaning, amongst the sea of generic, impersonal cards that signify the American Zeitgeist.
There is definitely an aura of impersonality amongst greeting cards, holiday cards, birthday cards, and every other kind of card out there. In fact, the whole idea of shopping for a card is to find something someone else wrote and send it to someone close in order to make them feel good. This is itself an impersonal way of wishing someone a good birthday or a happy new year. It is great to hear that at least one family did something creative which is always amusing to see. However, I do not believe that a holiday card is meant to replace a call or meet between close people. Many families send out dozens of these cards to friends and relatives, many of whom they would be unable to call for the holidays simply due to lack of time. Also, many new websites allow people to create personalized holiday cards which they can write on, include pictures on, and send out to whoever they want. It is true, as you say, that there is a "sea" of impersonal cards that signify the cultural ideas of our times. But amongst those massive amounts of cards are also phone calls to wish happy holidays, Christmas parties, and get-togethers with family and friends. I see how holiday cards are a representation of our cultural ideology regarding how we treat the holidays, but they are not the sole representation of how we treat the holidays.
ReplyDeleteHoliday cards are a perfect example of our culture losing sight of what is important. You hit the jackpot when you mentioned the irony in mailing holiday cards: the idea that you send a card in order to avoid calling the recipient or writing a detailed letter to them. The card is also sent to make the sender appear nice and thoughtful. The same thing happens on facebook! We write on walls to avoid a true conversation on skype or over the phone and we create statuses to make us APPEAR important. We try to avoid reality by attaching ourselves to social networking websites. By sending holiday cards to our "friends" we are avoiding the reality that we have lost connections with many old friends. The ultimate zeitgeist is that we hide from reality to benefit ourselves.
ReplyDeleteHoliday cards are only one among many impersonal mediums that we use to communicate today. Holiday cards, surprisingly, are one of the MORE personal ways we communicate today. At least in holiday cards a word or two is handwritten, the cards sent out with stamps placed individually on each envelope. Other mediums like phones and the internet are even less impersonal, with prewritten texts saved in the phone to 'save time.' We text and call so much more than we actually go and visit a person. The zeitgeist of our time is truly that we a getting more and more impersonal.
ReplyDeleteI never thought about holiday cards this way before, but you are completely right. For the past few days, my family has been receiving many holiday cards. Each one of them includes a photo, and a simple printed message directed towards nobody in particular. It's always a simple "Happy Holidays" from so and so with the year printed under the picture. This doesn't really mean a lot. I liked how you said that it gives us an excuse not to get in touch with the person that sent the card. There is nothing really special or personal about the card because the receiver knows they are being sent to everyone. Nobody is actually reaching out to anyone in particular.
ReplyDeleteI agree that holiday cards are becoming more and more meaningless and generic. To pick out a background, message and random family photo isn't that hard or thoughtful. I know some families, on the other hand, that send a "newsletter" about themselves and what they've been doing. These are fun to read and show that these people care about communicating and staying close with us. A generic card or message isn't intimate, interesting, or thoughtful. A birthday card or a thank-you note is much more meaningful when someone writes it themselves instead of using a store bought card. The same rings true for holiday cards. Many people are now sending their holiday cards through email, making them even more impersonal. Holiday cards are supposed to be about showing how much we care for people. Instead, they reveal how lazy and uncaring we have become.
ReplyDeleteHoliday cards are like Facebook. Facebook allows us to satisfy our desire to be "friends" with as many people as possible with as little effort as possible. Holiday cards do the same thing. We use holiday cards to keep in touch with as many people as possible to maintain the quantity of our network with as little effort as possible. Americans want friends. We want lots and lots of them. We just don't want to see them, or hear from them and we only want to speak to them once a year.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true! Holiday cards have become so generic and bland even though most are filled with holiday patterns and designs. A picture and a short greeting have never felt so meaningless. I used to be so excited to see everyone's holiday cards, but now it's just a disappointment to see how many families don't take the time or effort to reach out personally. I know of some families though, that actually take the time to hand-make their holiday cards with their own personal touch, not just a computer typed "Happy Holidays". They make the card much more personal when it's directed towards you specifically (for example, dear ____). But for those who order their printed, machine-made cards, what's the point if you want to keep in touch with someone and maintain relationships?
ReplyDeleteI actually never realized just how impersonal holiday cards really are until now. Emma and Mike Wachs has a point. Due to the technology avaliable to us, society has become so rushed and overwhelmed that we have completely lost touch with those around us. I mean not only are handwritten holiday cards scare these days but old fashioned letters are practically extinct. It essentially shows that though technology allows us to stay in contact, we are lossing direct physical interaction with one another.
ReplyDeleteSeeing this reminded me that, not only do i receive outdated, re-used pictured and succinct christmas cards, but that i receive them now via internet as well. Even something created for compassion and thoughtfulness, has become its opposite, due to the growing popularity and simplicity of the Internet. People are inherently lazy, and anyone can forget until last minute to send a card--thus a whole new market for last minute, limited effort christmas cards have come to be. I, myself had sent the same christmas card picture for two years in a row before abandoning the issue completely several years ago.
ReplyDeleteThis post really emphasizes the fact that our society has lost the personal touch of life. I've always thought that holiday cards were extremely generic and unnecessary. Getting nothing was even better than getting a holiday card with that same message over and over again: "Wishing you happy holidays and all the best in the New Year!" Holiday cards are supposed to be personal and from the heart. They should mean something. Unfortunately, sending out these wishes has become a tedious task for many people, adding to their long lists of jobs that need to be done as quickly as possible. As Tati said, and Mike Wachs as well in his post, our society has become rushed. We are always needing to do as much as possible at once to finish. But I don't understand why we are rushing. At this rate, sooner or later, everything, even life, will become a monotonous job that has to be finished as quickly as possible.
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ReplyDeleteThis is a perfect example of the American Zeitgeist. I can relate to this in so many ways as we have just received holiday cards with the same messages. It seems that now a days, people either don't want to or can't find the time to call and just wish someone a happy holidays. Another thing that came to mind is do people actually read the message or skim it and just look at the picture? It is possible that people feel that their friends are only interested in the family picture sent and could care less what the card says. This relates to advertising in the means that visual is more important than text. I know for me when people send holiday photo cards, i will read the words once but often go back to look at the picture. It isn't like the picture will change the 3rd or 4th time you look at it but it is the visual appeal that draws us in. So in reality, would a phone call be better? In my opinion, it would be more personal and a better way to show you care. While holiday cards are fun, personal communication is more meaningful and what the American image is all about.
ReplyDelete-Nicole Talbi
I was actually having a conversation about this with my Grandmother last week over the phone. I was telling her about this year's Christmas card, which is a picture of my brother and me at a random vacation spot with a generic background picked out from costco online (even though there was really no reason to describe it in detail since it was pretty much identical to last year's). She then told me that she used to write out cards to everyone for the holidays, but she has recently started to call people instead. I though to myself, "wow, I don't remember the last time I have done that!". Bottom line is that I felt like such an insincere person for only sending out a card with a generic message.
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, there is such a big difference between my generation and my grandmother's generation. My Grandmother values the few friends that she has and she has enough time to talk to each one individually. On the other hand, today we we don't have enough time to account for all our friends and family. What has happened to our sincerity?
There are so many things we can relate to this topic from the discussions we've had in our english class. Some topics could include superficial personalities, social networking, texting, and the obsession for women to reach the utmost perfection of beauty. Sending letters like these also connects to the idea of technology monopolizing our society. Like the letters, technology makes it easier for us to get things done quicker and more efficiently, and yet it restrains us from using whatever such practice and limits personal interaction with our friends and family. With this, we lose skill and our social interactions with loved ones. As modern times progress, people begin to become less and less formal and personal. As a result of technology, we have lost the practice of calling friends to texting friends, and facebooking someone rather than speaking face to face. But most importantly, we have lost our touch to really touch someone, the skill of reaching out to someone and really make them happy. Sooner or later, our technology will progress into having machines thinking up conversations to our loved ones rather than taking the time and effort to make them smile.
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